Matthew 27:3-4a Then when Judas, his betrayer, saw that Jesus was condemned, he changed his mind and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.”
Last week, we reflected on Pontius Pilate and his conflicted response to overseeing the case against Jesus. This week my reflection focuses on Judas, the betrayer of Jesus, and the one responsible for beginning the night of terror we commemorate on Good Friday. I have always felt rather sad for Judas. He betrayed the man he’d spent three years supporting and following. His reward for the betrayal? Thirty pieces of silver. In our focus verses above, Judas regrets his betrayal and returns the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests. Judas recognizes that his betrayal is a terrible sin. He has betrayed his friend, his constant companion from the prior three years. Judas feels utter contempt for himself.
I recently listened to a commentary by Friar Mike Schmitz, an American Catholic priest, who reflected on Judas’ response to his betrayal of Jesus. Schmitz’s insights were enlightening to me. Judas recognizes his sin, and even returns the money he’s been paid, but he doesn’t seek a reconciliation with Jesus. He tragically ends it all by suicide. There’s no closure, no opportunity to set things straight. Schmitz compares the response of Judas to that of Peter. After Peter’s denunciation of Jesus, not once but three times, Peter weeps bitterly. And, after the resurrection, Peter has the opportunity to express his love for Jesus, There is closure, forgiveness, and a resumption of their close relationship.
I’ve always felt sad that Judas didn’t stick around to see Jesus in resurrection form. Judas could have enjoyed forgiveness, could have felt the unconditional love of his Savior, even after doing the unthinkable. Dear Lord, we thank you for loving us no matter how badly we mess up. As we enter this Holy Week, may we reflect on your love, your forgiveness and the opportunity for “restarts” when we utterly and completely mess up. May we be as forgiving of ourselves, as you have been forgiving of us.
Blessings,
Diana
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